Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
