that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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