Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My ass is underappreciated
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
