just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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