Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Midnight walks are trippy

(1-817): View more from Texas

I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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(206): View more from Washington

I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill

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(418): View more from Quebec

I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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(954): View more from Florida

I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.

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(773): View more from Illinois

oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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(831): View more from California

Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day

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