My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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