Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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