Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
