I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
