I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
