you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
