They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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