He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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