I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
