they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
