wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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