capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize