It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize