Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
