If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
