when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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