I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
