Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
