why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
