I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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