nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
