he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
