I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My hand turned me down
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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