He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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