you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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