just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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