roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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