? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
