I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
