Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
