im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
