You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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