whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
