How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
