I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
