Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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