At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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