I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
