If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
