I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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