i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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