Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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