Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
