Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
