Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
