She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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