i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
