I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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