Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
