mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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