thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
