Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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