Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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