That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
accomplished twins. life is a go
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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