This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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