everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
