If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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