operation harelip BJ is a go
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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