Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
