Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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