What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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