some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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