Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
