is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
