He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
