I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
