I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
