So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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