Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
