Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
