Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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