id be glad to
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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