She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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