so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
accomplished twins. life is a go
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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