i just wanna soil my oats bro
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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