Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
