I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
