Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
