I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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