everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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