and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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